🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?